I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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