My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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