I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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