Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize