Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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