I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
