I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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