but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
