my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
