you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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