covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
