if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
