I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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