Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
