Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
