I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
