You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
