Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
