i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
