You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
