Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I still have a little drunk in my system
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
