I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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