We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
