she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
