it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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