You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
did i walk over a car last night?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
