After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
