God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
