You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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