someone get that fucking seahorse.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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