I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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