you will always have a special place in my vag
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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