I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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