Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
