I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
