So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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