i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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