I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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