It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i think i just lost a toe
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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