When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
