hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize