she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
