why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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