5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Pants are for mortals
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
wow bdsm is so cute
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
