so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
