fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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