counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
