Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
