Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
