FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
