Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
