The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
