Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
